Jokes from Jimboy to Have in Your Back Pocket

If you’re anything like me, you’re always looking for new jokes to add to your personal stash. Want to wow your friends at the lunch table? Dazzle your family in the car? Make new friends in long lines? You’re in luck, my friends, because Jimboy has dug deep into his vault of jokes to bring me - and now you - some brand-new material.

How funny are these jokes? When Jimboy told them to me, he started laughing so hard he could hardly finish them…I think he still might be chuckling to himself in his office. Without further ado, here are some of the freshest and finest jokes that Tuxedo has to offer.

The Shakespeare Seat

My grandparents were taking me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

“Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?”

“You are in seat 2-B, so it’s the Shakespeare seat.”

“Don’t be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, it’s either seat 2-B or not 2-B.”

Counting Cows

A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

Fixing Windows

“Windows frozen, won’t open.” Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer.” Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now.”

Apple Math

“Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”

“Huge hands, sir.”

Is there a joke that Jimboy didn’t tell me that you think should be on the list? Let us know in the comments, and it might even make its way to Breakfast Club fame!